Yesterday I went to the Chophouse for Doc’s birthday. Doc is a girl who works here. She’s one of the “cooler” folks. That’s not her real name, but that’s what some call her. That’s what I’ll call her. She told me all sorts of stuff about the place I now work. One of the things she told me was about how the president of our organization (who’s name I won’t mention and who I never ever really see as this place is HUGE) was, at one time, GW Bush’s roommate at Yale. Apparently they’re good buddies. I can’t really say more about this as it could get me into some bit of trouble (not that I know what kind of trouble), but I found it odd. I’m one degree of separation away from GW Bush (or is it two?). So I think I’ll ask him out for Krispy Kreme and I’ll ask him some questions about stuff about things. Indeed. Apparently, things change here drastically depending on who’s president. It will be interesting to see what happens over the next few years. Not sure why I’m bringing this up… so that will be all about that and now I’ll talk about America’s real life president, President Josiah Bartlet. Now, I’m not one degree away from Josiah Bartlet, but I did finally get sucked into the show. We’re only three episodes into it and I find the acting, the sets, and the dialogue to be mesmerizing. I think Toby put it well,

I like to see them walk around. [they’re saying] ‘This is how we get things done. See? We’re getting things done. Watch us get things done and walk around.’

I’m not sure what’s going on yet, but I like this show. We need the writers at NBC to write our presidents’ speeches.

I’ll vote for the first person, Democrat or Republican, who can

GET ME SOME MOTHER HUMPIN DSL!!!!!!!

AURGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From Toby:

looks like earthlink isn’t releasing our line. they claim we placed an order on it and they have stake on the line. even though they can’t sell us service, they aren’t letting a competitor do so.

they have to release it in a month or something like that. i’m on with covad now. they are pissed at earthlink, too.

also, it sounds like we may not qualify after all.

this is a nightmare, haha.

I can’t believe this. It’s almost laughable.

I swear to the god of all that is pasta, I could live off Stuffed Shells and only Stuffed Shells. Yum. And you? What might you get happily stuck with?

Here we go again. I have (yet another) Verizon story. I am trying so hard to leave out superlatives. Friday, Toby calls Verizon to find out why we haven’t received our DSL as it was to be turned on that day. No big deal, we’re thinking it might not happen until Monday considering everyone likes to wait till the last minute to do their job, especially at Verizon and even more so on a Friday. (We had also called a week earlier to check on the order assuring that everything was still ok. Not a week ago, all was fine). So on Friday the guy tells Toby we can’t get DSL but that they didn’t know that until their little pukemuffin came down to our neighborhood box and check the situation out. So this assmunch tells us there are too many Verizon customers (good for you, shitbags) and that we can’t get it and that he’s sorry but the only thing we can do is to KEEP ORDERING it until one day the pukemuffin will come to us and say,

It’s 2036, you now how DSL.

So Toby asks the “sales” representative why we have to receive new Verizon software and a DSL modem each and every time we “order” service and even before the pukemuffin comes out to say we can’t get it as every time this happens, we have to make a special trip to the Post Office to return said shitty Verizon equipment for services they can’t even render. He continues by asking the guy why they can’t just keep track of their customers so that we can get the service as soon as it’s available. The guy says,

This is the way we do it. There’s no way of knowing until we send one of our minions down there to tell you ‘NO!’

We have no DSL. We have new Verizon software, but no DSL. We called Covad and are hoping it works out there. It looks good. I hope so. Please, my small viewing audience, please tell people NOT to give Verizon any of their money. They are possibly to WORST company I have ever dealt with. But perhaps this is a blessing in disguise as to having never give them another penny again. Seriously, if you can, just say no. Let them become better first.

(And I’m going to start linking Verizon in hopes that at least one possible customer will find this shit via Google and not give them their business).

Last night we went grocery shopping. We spent $120.00 bucks on food and $4.99 on another pumpkin. (Cheapest pumpkins I have ever seen). I am a terrible pumpkin carver, like so bad it’s embarrassing. They always look deranged. They always look scary, (and not in that good Halloweeny way. Nope). They’re so deranged and pathetic looking, they’re pardoned when pumpkin smashers seek their prey. One of our pumpkins is a gimp. It’s slightly off centered. It can’t stand up on its own. It’s covered in dirt, dirt I am unable to wipe off. My dad used it as a resting point in order to wipe off Toby’s cat-hair covered coat, so now it’s covered in cat hair too. (I wish it were covered in cats. My cats). This pumpkin was purchased last Saturday. It was the last pumpkin in the store. Earlier, when Toby went for some food, there were many, many pumpkins.

You should see them all! There were so many pumpkins! I was going to get you one, but I was unable to carry it. We’ll get one later today.

I was told. When we arrived later, there was only one. He sat, sad below the other pretty, pimply multi-colored gourds. He sat on the floor beneath the produce, ignored and unwanted. The Charlie Brown Christmas tree of pumpkin variety. It was Gimpumpkin. I had to buy him. It was meant to be. I was meant to work my magic on this little unwanted bastard. We’ve had this sad little guy for nearly a week now. He’s been sitting there, (or leaning there, rather) against the wall on our kitchen table. Last night Safeway had so many new pumpkins, the choices were endless it seemed. So we picked out the Jude Law of pumpkins. He’s hot. He’s perfect. He’s like one of those pumpkin drawings, (if you’re good at that sort of thing). And if you’re not a simon or a Bob Ross, he’s the kind of pumpkin your mind wishes to draw before your hand destroys the page. Anyhow, Toby gets to carve Jude Law while I watch and document it. (That sounds so dirty). I will then give Gimpumpkin a face. All will be good and we will make seeds and eat them. I can’t hardly wait. Toby has never carved a pumpkin, more importantly, the Jude Law variety.

(Holy sweet cow my head is pounding. I have this damn problem with headaches. They’re always there, lingering. Seriously. Sometimes I actually become angry with my own head. Friggin head. Beat head. Damnit). Unrelated note, but looking back at my day… lunch conversation consisted of (but was not limited to) potty talk and foot ailments. Yes, they shit you so, grown adults talking about someone else (who was not present) and their hideously loud, consistent bathroom behavior. Indeed. I nearly swallowed my tongue.

Note to self: Do not visit women’s restroom at 10 am or 3:10 pm.

And if you think that the whole figuring out what people owe when the bill comes goes away when you reach a certain age…. it does not. It only gets worse. And if said older people involved do indeed work in your accounting department, still it’s not made any easier. In fact, it’s worse as every darn penny they did not eat matters. I figured we could just split the massive bill between all 9 individuals even though I hadn’t any wine or after dinner treats, but this was not to be toyed with. This communistic approach was trashed instantly. Money was counted. Heads were shook. People became restless. Bill came up short. In the end it was the folks like myself who threw in five more dollars, five more dollars towards the freedom to have a long overdo, afternoon pee.

There are times I have witnessed a movie, a play, a painting,etc. and have left contaminated by its message. I spend hours thinking on it, mulling over it, wishing I had had something to do with it. There are great people I wish I could talk to. There are great ideas I long to be a part of. There are movements I wish to take part in. And there are people who I wish to show some respect. This is what life should be about. Not yelling and lashing out at folks and pointing out everything they are wrong for and why they’re wrong and what we can do to show them how wrong they really are. We grab onto anger and make it our largest, loudest friend. Then there are times where you’re just feeling sad. You’re overwhelmed by thoughts and you desperately want to do something positive with them—you long to make a difference.

Last night was one of those times. I saw Bowling for Columbine last night and I’m trying to hold back the superlatives. I really am.

I realize that Michael Moore isn’t America’s favorite person. And I realize he dances that fine line between stalking his subjects and just annoying them to no end. (Which, by the way, the Dick Clark bit was not at all offensive. Taken out of context, it may sound bad, but I assure you, if you see the movie it will make sense). Moore has created something special. He has created something that should be required to see regardless of your stance on gun ownership, the NRA, America, Bush or our place in the world. I said last night this movie’s message is like that of the movie “Kids” (and I hated Kids—but saw the damn thing)

Everyone should be required to see it, but the people who I really wish would, won’t.

The movie brought tears to my eyes a dozen times. There was a point where I couldn’t watch the screen any longer, I had to look away and think of something else or I was sure to start sobbing (which the man next to me was already doing). The movie made me shake my head in shame. The movie made me laugh, whole-heartedly, for minutes on end. A genuine giddy laughter, let go in childhood and only glimpsed late at night while slaphappy. Some of the characters’ absurdity was unbelievable (and I mean unbelievable. I had to remind myself that these characters are real—that Hollywood didn’t make them up). The movie got something done. The movie had a message, opposed or not, you will leave ticking.

I left wanting to do something better. I left wishing things were different. I left wondering what it is we can do. I left angry with myself as I do a lot of complaining while others are out there trying to change the world as we know it. I’m tired of being passive and I’m tired of being angry. And I’m tired of letting things go, thinking I have no say.

Last but not least (and I think it was my final thought, the one I ended the night with) we need to laugh more. If anger isn’t helping and not everyone lets themselves feel sad, then I guess we should laugh more. How do we do this?

Let’s laugh?

After a back and forth for about half an hour and after spending an entire 24 hours thinking I was going to see “The Ring” tonight, we just purchased two tickets to see “Bowling for Columbine” at Dupont Circle because we didn’t want to wander around Chevy Chase all night. So, that said, I’m sure I’ll have a lot of crap to stir up tomorrow going to see a Michael Moore film and all. (I hope you Moore haters don’t hate me). :] I see everything. I rarely discriminate. Thou shall not judge thy cinema. G’night.

Intersting bit of information. Even if he’s not our sniper, let’s find this man, eh? (News by way of Toby).

The morning has been somewhat interesting, by interesting, I mean different from every other morning. But it’s because of that sniper dude and I’m tired of talking about him…. so that said, nothing really too exciting has happened to me since yesterday. And even this morning wasn’t that exciting. :] Last night I laid about our apartment while Toby dished me out some yummy tofu pot pie. He spent the afternoon making it. I love his pot pie. I do. So we had dinner and chatted at the dinner table (the good and interesting thing about having a massive fear of a possible bug problem is that we eat dinner at the table together. There’s something to be said for having dinner together). After dinner, I washed the dishes and we watched TV. I began my freelance work. Things are going well for the most part. One of our conversations was about crime in a city, such as getting mugged and the like. I remembered a lecture from college (I think it was psychology) that the less people on a street during a crime, the better. If there are many people everyone believes that someone else will do something to help. I think this was brought up along side a story about a woman and a man who were fighting on a bridge. She feared him so much, she ended jumping off the bridge, rather than deal with him hurting her. And everyone just watched. Does anyone know this story? Does anyone know more about it? I didn’t want to give Toby a bunch of false information, but that was so long ago. Anyway….

See comments for the real story. Edited to correct myself.

I finally got a version of BBEdit. That means I can update the damn site. YAYA! I think I’m up to date on my blogs and such. Nifkin is back. Place and Thyme is new and improved. And I’m still fixin stuff. And I got rid of my AIM name as I won’t be using it much any longer. I’m looking to get work done these days. It’s about time, right? But I’ll be checkin email like a bored bitch, so do feel free to send me stuff.

Today I had Annie’s instant Mac and Cheese for lunch. And I also had a little bit of leftover dinner from last night. Chinese food. Organic. It took them 1.5 hours to deliver it but it was sooooo worth the wait.

On Friday night I drank too much booze and spent Saturday wishing I had not. It sucked and I’m tired of feeling crappy the next day so the next time I start getting my drink on, I’m going to remember this comment. That’s all the time I’ll waste on that. We stayed in Saturday. I watched TV and Toby did computer stuff. Another person was shot in Ashland, Virginia and this is the first time I really believed it was just some wacko with a gun. What a big friggin wimp. Really. He drives 70 miles south to make his latest shot. A total wimp. Screw this guy already. The media walks around behind the camera worshipping that microphone interrupting Saturday Night Live to report NOTHING. But they report nothing OVER AND OVER AGAIN. The men all have hard ons and the women are jittery and wide-eyed fueled by a pathetic, school-girl excitement. They’re eating this up. The sniper is eating this up. And I grow to hate them more and more each day. The display is pornographic. It’s worse, actually, because they apply morals and tie fake emotions to it, as pornography does not. I wish the media would shut the hell up. Or at the very least, be honest about it. Chumps. On the lighter, more relaxing note, we got our new couch this weekend. Now we sit and watch TV comfortably indeed. I’ll have images in a few.

Mes203: I had a dream last night I was making out with Kirsten Dunst. I was really into it. I think I also had a penis, but I’m sure. Heh.

mih0w: did you show it to her?

Mes203: I think so.

Here are some images. These are weeks old. I am sorry, but now that I have it figured out, I will be sure to post pictures of the scary apartment outside my office window. (Toby took most of the pictures of us leaving NYC as I was driving the truck).

Coke or Pepsi? I have exactly 1.90 to last me all day and I must have a caffeinated beverage. And the coffee around these parts is too rich for my blood. I’m trying to get the bang out of my buck-ninety. It appears, that after tobyjoe borrowed my credit card last night, he forgot to place the wallet back into the pocket leaving me sans cash of any kind, cept for this lovely pocket of change. (I will make him make it up to me, I will). So, that said, I’m gong to have a coke for breakfast and hopefully that will keep my vitamins from making me feel ill. But which do you prefer, Pepsi or Coke. Me? Coke all the way. I also rather like what Subaru did with the new Baja/Brat. While I don’t plan on going out to buy a yellow Baja, I think the designers of the new car did a decent job at NOT making it entirely ugly. I think it fits the look of the current Volkintosh Nation. And, my last great question for the day is… morning or night? Dawn or dusk? I prefer morning to night and dawn to dusk. Dusk scares me. It still means coming in from playing outside and facing evil monsters while I try and sleep. Yes, night demons. That is all for now. I will FINALLY have pictures in a few…

I have to admit, today, more so than every other day thus far, I really miss NYC. I think it’s the weather or maybe that time of year. Or maybe I’m just being “that way” but I miss it some.

::sigh::

::reads first post::

::sigh::

I am this way. I am ok, I’m just this way. :]

So this sniper fella hit another person. A middle-aged man at a gas station. I can’t help but think of this as a movie, not real and completely unbelievable (Tarot cards?! COME ON!). Apparently, I watch way too much Law and Order. I wonder what the police are thinking and the investigators, outwitted by one person while they run around trying to figure out what his/her possible next move is. (Yes, I’m opening up to the possibility of it being a woman, though my money is still on a man). Anyhow, it’s terrorism in my opinion, the most clever form I have seen or heard of really. People of all different ages, colors, sizes, sexes and religious beliefs are afraid to be outside. People are changing the way they live their lives, not spending too much time outside or avoiding major shopping areas. It’s completely unreal! It’s something out of Hollywood. Ah well, I can’t do anything but watch from the sidelines and hope they find him/her. The book is good, kittens and Mr. Moore wasn’t too, too bad, however, he did do one of those “things” I hate, where he assumes the reader or listener is a moron, just waiting to be enlightened by his ever so intelligent diatribe.

Blow it out your ass, Mr. Moore

. (Please note: big annoyance number 2,127, don’t assume people are not-knowing, they’ll ask if they need your help explaining something). But I like the main guy thus far. And today… today is Toby and my one year anniversary. I want to take him out for dinner, but I’m not sure I’ll have the money. (We’ll go to Subway or The Diner, my baby. And I’ll tell you stories till late and we’ll make pancakes and soysage in the morning and lay in bed drinking coffee). :] Yum. My life is entirely different from one year ago. I owe a lot of that to this person. I was so lonely and I began giving up on a lot of the things in life that I enjoyed. I have written about him before (see In Retrospect) but I want to say just one more time, that without him I’m not sure where I’d be or what state I’d be in right now. (Today). A day hasn’t gone by where I haven’t realized just how lucky I am to know him (even when we fight and I want to throw food at him). He’s sweet. He’s kind. He’s smart. He listens. He’s an amazing person. He’s nothing like me and a lot like me and I just find myself wanting to know more. I’ve often said,

The world needs more Toby.

He’s my mac and cheese.

Woke up sort of blue today. Not sure why. It’s raining and it’s Thursday, I shouldn’t be blue, but I am. I got word in that the place I used to work for, who I have continued to work for, and who I thought I would continue to work for from here, hired a new designer. And that really doesn’t bother me, what bothers me is that they didn’t tell me. I think they wanted to just ignore me until I finally just “got the picture”. Well, thankfully, a friend I still have there, gave me the inside scoop so not to depend on their possible future income. I can’t say I am surprised, I have known this company to be rude and thoughtless for years now. Their ability to surprise me, surprises me. Their lack of professionalism and a conscience surprises me, but this? It doesn’t really surprise me. Anyhow, that’s gone and dead, so I have some freed up time to freelance. If anyone has anything, here’s one fairly decent designer, who can meet deadlines and (occasionally, not always) make you laugh. :]

Boss:

Michele, we have a rush job for you, do you have a minute?

Me:

Sure, what is it?

Boss:

We need you to find a picture of a roadkill and above it put the type ‘DINNER’ Do you think you can find images?

Me:

I think so, sure. Um, what’s it for?

Boss:

I don’t know. One of our Lobbyists needs it.

I have issues. I have issues with people wanting to “keep me”. I just occurred to me, that at this point in my life, I can finally say that in regards to my job and my love life and my apartment life and my city life, I see a future. I no longer feel as though one or all are going to drop me instantly or are temporary. My job in NYC never mentioned a year from now with me in it. My living situation was always shaky. If it be losing my uneasy job (which ended up being fairly stable I later find) and not paying rent or just being thrown out (which James planned on doing anyway come December) it was always there, the end. It feels good to hear my current boss say “Next year we’ll send you to a few more classes.” Just a thought. :] Things seem stable. Now if only I can pay off my debt….

Toby just bought www.dearpolicemaniamgod.com

Confession:

You know what I love? I love Velveeta Mac and Cheese and BBQ potato chips. I love them. Both of them. I can crave them daily. I am this: Trash. :]

So much to report. So little organization. We moved into our apartment on Saturday with the wonderful help from our friends, Missy and Jeff. It would have taken hours to do without them. Many, ugly hours. I can’t seem to thank them enough, as I know how awful moving can be. Maybe it’s easier if it’s not you? Who knows. We really love our place. It’s very large and the sunlight is nice. We are on the bottom floor. We have a patio which opens into a courtyard. The courtyard is green. There are squirrels out back and you can here the crickets at night. I really do like that. We have cable (minus HBO) coming in free. We need some lamps, there are no overhead lights in the bedroom or the living area, but that’s ok. I’m not a fan of the overhead-lighting look anyway and I enjoy shopping. So, yes, we’re quite pleased with the apartment, as expected (coming from mihow) I do have some problems with it, problems we must fix or things could get ugly. Not only are there crickets at night, there are roaches as well. We’re not sure if it’s because we’re on the first floor (my most doubtful thought), if it’s because our neighbors are gross (also doubtful—we’ve met them) if it’s that the people before us were dirty (more likely as we’ve seen and heard some stories suggesting so). Is it because the place has been vacant? The building isn’t infested, I know this much as I know other folks living there and they don’t have a problem. But something is wrong.

I know people don’t like roaches. I realize this much is a given. But I have a wicked fear of them. I hate them more than mice, rats and Verizon. I moved from a place because of them them. Anyhow, we’ve taken the proper measures, we’ve sprayed and set up traps, we have NO food yet, so we’re not the initial lures. Toby is telling our landlord today, in order to have them bring someone in to spray, I hope that helps a bit. I’m disturbed. I want them to not be there. I can live with a few from time to time, I assume that will happen, but we’ve killed at least 30 and we’ve only been there for two days. (Help me).

I am reading Brothel. It’s (thus far) and excellent book about legal prostitution in Nevada. Well, last night I read a part about one of the prostitute’s husband. He answered the questions Alexa (the author) asked but admittedly had “issues” at times with the fact that his wife slept with other men every night. He has some problems with the fact that when she did return home, she had trouble wanting or having sex with him, (opted for cuddling and talking instead). Contrary to many other prostitutes at the ranch (whose “loved ones” are basically pimps) I get the impression he loves her very much and the relationship is merely a flipside to the ever so faithful women who stay with their cheating husbands. I took the jealousy aspect to bed with me. I had dreams about TobyJoe and a girl named Debra. He was getting very friendly with Debra and would wet his finger tips and try and (delicately) wipe off her freckles. She was tall and blond. I would pinch him every time he touched her freckles. It was so odd. So very odd. But I woke up feeling jealous. And he has been laughing and laughing. Telling me,

I have to call Debra.

Or

Debra doesn’t do that. She’s perfect.

Good times. :) This post is all over the place. But do pick up the book. It’s a great read.

I think NPR might be making me crazy. First I get West Nile Virus, then I get all hooked on phonics with NPR. I have it on daily. I used to listen to Stern, but I found I pay too much attention to him, so that had to stop. Now I have NPR on. And it sort of sits in the background. Sometimes I pay more attention, sometimes less, mostly less. Well, I am finding that some of the information I am not really listening to is seeping into my head and it’s coming out in ways not entirely normal. For example, I keep thinking I had conversations I never had, when in all actuality, it’s that I sort of listened to one on NPR. Yesterday, they discussed a lizard named Otis (I think it was a lizard, though I have no idea as I barely heard it. And I don’t know why they were discussing Otis, I wasn’t listening) and today I was telling a guy here at work that I knew someone with a lizard named… and then I stopped. None of this is true. I know no lizards. And what if I become religious? Yesterday they spoke about God and Alcoholism. Again, I was only slightly there. What do folks do about this NPR phenomenon? I’m being brainwashed by NPR.

We have the elevator at our new apartment building from 4-8 p.m. If anyone out there wants to help us, we will take you out for dinner at Loreal Plaza (or whatever you might like) after we are finished. We will get you drunk and let you sleep on our floor. Yes. Indeed. Wanna help?

Worst of all… I have a vitamin stuck in my throat, and it’s been there since 7 a.m. I hate that.