Lately I have had some skin issues. I never have had them in the past, I was a “lucky” gal blessed with freckles, and since I was forced to have spots all over my face, I was spared pimples and the like. Lately, my skin has been acting up. It’s not horrible, but it’s annoying enough. It’s very dry and itchy and I sometimes bumps form on my shoulders and back and my chin (not zits, just bumps and then they go away. Like a rash). It sounds grosser than it really is, I assure you, as you can barely see it, but I want to know what people do for stuff like this as I haven’t really had to worry about it before. I’m at a loss. Is it from allergies? Is it just dry skin? Is it nerves? Am I dying? :]

You know what? You were wrong about the meaning of the word ‘retard’. It means to ‘hinder’ or to ‘hold back’. I think we can both safely say that your life is about to become retarded.

That’s it, I’m building an arc.

Getting to work today reminded me of when I had my impacted wisdom teeth pulled from the depths of my jaw and I threw up for two days and spent the next two weeks wishing life were easier, that if I was to be forced into going out again and acting “normal”, I could chew and talk and sleep and brush and live as I once had. The bus system today performed a half-assed attempt at trying to get as many displaced individuals onto it as possible, leaving us normal bus people angry and shocked. It was impossible to climb over the giant snow-plow pushed mounds along the edges of the street, I walked nearly a block out of my way before finding an opening, missing two busses and landing on my butt once. See, now why were we asked to go out in this? It’s like a pathetic dress-rehearsal where everyone forgot their lines.

MOVE IT BACK! MOVE IT BACK Y’ALL!

The bus driver screamed.

WE can’t GO any further man! CHILL!

One passenger answered finally. And he was right.

I’ll show you CHILL?! You want off this bus? You’ll soon know CHILL!

And then a fight nearly broke out between the driver and the man in back, a verbal fight, because of distance I don’t think anything more could happen.

And now, if it ices by evening, I have to head back by bus. Please tell me they’ll get the hang of it, or at the very least, the driving commuters will either leave early or throw in the towel and take cabs.

During all of this, I read this on a bumper-sticker:

It takes balls to neuter your pet.

I neutered my pet.

Yesterday actually got worse. I was hurrying to finish mocking up a new project, handling an exacto blade is something I’ve done for years. But yesterday I cut my finger so badly and in such and odd manner I was forced to have half of my fingernail removed. 3 ER doctors, numerous shots of numbing power (two which didn’t work, so I nearly kicked someone in the head as they began to remove my nail), 1 tetanus shot, who knows how many stictches (2, in which, were through the remaining fingernail [yes, they CAN do that]) and 5 hours later, I had a numb pointer-finger and one, massive headache.

My gimphinger won’t work for many weeks. So my posts will be short, at least for a while. (Thank goodness, right?). I did have to “relieve” one ER student of his duties after he hit bone. That’s a story for when I can type. Ugh. What a fucking day.

I did return home to find this, however, so all was not lost.

It’s early now. I have A LOT of catching up to do, hence my early arrival. Tell me stories of your worst painful experience. This most certainly was mine.

Last night I woke up to the sound of fighter jets and sirens. I woke up at 3 a.m., peed and went back to bed. I sat, awake stressing about work until about 5:30 when I finally just exhausted myself. Losing sleep over an even half-to sucks. (Edited because I hate the way I sound today. hehe).

About a year and a half ago, during the summer, I flew to LA to visit some friends. I hate flying, most people know that by now. My flight originated at LaGuardia, flew to Houston and then I had a connector flight from Houston to LA. On the flight out of Houston, we were told by our pilot that we would

proceed using a low altitude climb because the plane is too heavy

Now, obviously, I had many problems with this statement. One, it came from our pilot. Two, the use of the word TOO. Three, why in the hell would anyone fuck with air travel by over-pushing the weight capacity of an airplane? I just don’t get people. This made no sense.

I sat, white-knuckled and hoped for a safe landing. I looked around at all the larger people, cursing them for being large, during a fit of pure terror, one can hate just about anything or anyone. At that moment, I hated the big people and I hated the luggage which lay beneath me.

This brings me to my next point. A few weeks ago, Toby and I were watching the news, when they began speaking about the Charlotte, N.C flight that went down. The FAA is saying that they may begin weighing folks as weight could have been the cause of the wreck.

Last night, I was watching TV when the phone rang. It was my family. They’re in Florida for the week hanging out, catching some sun. Relaxing. My aunt headed down there on Sunday and was supposed to get in at around 3 p.m. She, instead, arrived around 11:30 p.m. after a nightmare of a flying experience.

It turns out, the plane leaving Newark was too heavy. Instead of unloading some luggage, or rearranging the passengers to lessen the weight, perhaps moving a few to a later flight, they removed fuel. Yes. Fuel. This is so amazingly stupid and completely out of this world, idiotic, moronic, repulsive and flabbergastingly, unbelievably absurd, I am nearly speechless.

But that’s not all… after the passengers de-boarded (to remove the fuel) and then boarded again, the flight took to the skies. As the plane sat above South Carolina, the pilot came on to announce that

they didn’t have enough fuel to make it to Florida, and would have to land in South Carolina to refuel and then be on their way again.”

People are throwing a fit about the idea of being weighed before boarding an aircraft. There are folks saying that the FAA should see that aircrafts to hold larger loads. (Which was done, but Americans, on average have gotten progressively heavier over the past 20 years).

Should people be forced to be weighed? Should our already hurting air industry be forced to purchase and/or build new planes which will hold an even larger group of people? Are you all thinking,

Damn, michele is a massive, fat-hating bitch and should really just shut up?

I’m sorry if I’ve offended anyone. I’m looking for opinions and thoughts on the subject. How do you feel about the idea of being weighed? Have you ever been concerned about the weight of the plane you’re on? And, please, hold back on any politically correct, tip-toeing bullshit. I want the truth.

What a nice weekend. On Friday I put a Zipcar on hold and Toby and I went grocery shopping at Whole Foods. We spent a lot, but it was worth it. I’ve been doing a lot of baking lately, so we bought some bulk chocolate chips and flour and the like. Jason popped over around 10 p.m. and invited us up to watch a tape of Eddie Izzard. So funny. We laughed and laughed and then, around 1 a.m. I layed my head down on Toby’s lap and I fell asleep. It was of no fault of the company or the comedian, I was just so beat. Saturday I baked. I made chocolate pie with silken tofu and some banana, chocolate chip muffins. So good, if I must say so myself. Toby made some veggie chili and we played Scrabble. Yesterday, we put another Zipcar on hold and went shopping. Somehow we ended up at Target where we spent over 200 dollars. Good times. I finally got some plants. We bought some cake pans, a food processor, some new, yellow towels, some catnip, and other junk I’m sure we never knew we needed. We ate at the Flat Top Grill and headed home to prepare some eats and to watch TV, a Sunday evening ritual. And I have to say, the Behind The Actor’s Studio with the cast of the Simpsons made me laugh like and idiot. So good. So amazingly entertaining. Some of the most intelligent, funny people alive. And now I’m here. I have some left overs from last nights dinner, Shepherds Pie, veggie style and some muffins for breakfast. I have my coffee and a list of things to do today. Work is poopie pants. I want home.

Sometimes I look at him and I am just completely amazed at how lucky I am to know him. Sometimes he’s sleeping and I watch him for a minute. I imagine walking over to the bed and putting my hands on him. I imagine that if he awoke, he’d wonder why I was waking him and he’d probably want me to turn my head. It’s amazing how many common pleasures are destroyed by fear.

This morning I was in line at Starbucks getting coffee. Yesterday, I was there as well. I was in line when I realized I had no way of paying for the coffee. I looked around and then I left. I had tea in my desk. Tea is nice as well. This morning, the boy in front of me let me go ahead of him as he rummaged through his backpack.

“This may take a while, I’m looking for change.”

I had my headphones on. Songs: Ohio was playing. But I still heard him as they’re quiet. I was thinking that I really like this unknown band. Sometimes I wonder why more people don’t recognize how great they are. I grabbed a dollar out of my wallet. I thought about coins but who can guess what change means? I gestured my dollar towards the boy. He looked up from the digging and said,

“Oh no, no, that’s totally ok. I know it’s in here somewhere. Thanks so much, though.”

It’s easy to be nice to people when you’re in love with someone. Contentment makes us do silly things. And I find myself discovering my own contentment all the time; it’s tucked into random acts of kindness, and I often feel elated when I leave them.

Earlier, on the bus, a woman sat next to me. She asked me about my Palm Pilot. Songs: Ohio was playing so I heard her. I paused the best song and explained to her that it was an iPod and that it played music to me. It could hold 4,000 different songs and if I could ever fill it, I’d have every song I’d ever need in a very small space. I told her that I kind of liked that idea. She was probably the most pleasant person I have never met.

She got off at K Street.

When I left the coffee place, I wondered what the boy thought about my offering him a dollar. I wonder if he thought I was flirting and I wonder if he thought I felt sorry for him.

After I left the store, I sipped my coffee. I still love the smell of coffee. I think it’s one of my most favorite things. It makes being cold not so bad and I hate the cold. My thoughts went to our bed where he lay at home. And I smiled. I’m different now from what I was a year ago. I’m better. Sometimes I just want people to see this. And if the boy could see the way I laugh at night, he’d know my gesture was entirely selfless.

And I hope that boy was able to have some coffee, eventually. I hope he found the change he was looking for.

Songs: Ohio is still on. The song is called Being in Love. Their music isn’t flat at all.